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coming soon: my comelec story

kung may baha buddies ako sa naging ondoy experience ko...
kung sa ondoy experience ko na-experience ang pinakamahabang nilakad ko sa tanang buhay ko...

MALEE MATIGNAS BLOG PRODUCTIONS

presents....

MY COMELEC STORY

dahil nagkaron ako ng pila buddies

at dahil sa comelec ko na-experience ang pinakamahabang pagpila ko sa tanang buhay ko


10 STRAIGHT HOURS!

yeahboy! to come ang rants ko...
FEAT: my countdown sa PUBLIC ENEMIES!

RAKENROL! \m/

MANOOD KA NA LANG!

a selfish story (my ondoy experience)

WARNING: this is just a selfish story.
                     it's all 'bout me and ondoy.

PURPOSE:to remind me of my ondoy story.

THE STORY

September 26, 2009 (Saturday)
 I got up @ 5 AM. Prepared myself. And left home by 8AM.
 We were required to attend OPINoYON @ CMC media center-tv studio.

Wala talaga akong payong. DAHILAN:

1. laging nawawala payong ko. or more like ang-tanga-ko-kasi-at-lagi-kong-nakakalimutan-sa-kung-saan-saan. binabalikan ko pag naalala ko pero wala na. give up na ko at parents ko sa payong--i meant sa kapabayaan ko when it comes to payong.

2. nakakatamad rin naman talagang magbuklat tupi ng payong lalo na't may pagka-OC pako sa pagtutupi ng payong. hassle. hassle hawakan, hassle itupi, hassle pag pinapatuyo. kya preferred ko wag mag-payong.

3. naiinis kasi ako dahil give up na nga parents ko sa kapabayaan ko sa payong. alam kong kailangan ko ng payong, pero ayaw na rin nila akong ibili. binibigyan naman nila ako ng payong na hindi ko rin dinadala dahil naiinis na nga ako. pag nawala ko--the blame's on me. nakakairita na rin. hahahaha

OKAY. dahil wala akong payong i just wore an oversized hoodie-hip-hop style. and i brought another hoodie--my usual hoodie.

When ileft home kasi ambon pa lang, e hindi ko naman alam na may nagbabadyang chorva-mae sa labas db?! kaya akala ko keri n ng hoodie un...AKALA ko lang yun.

Pagdating ko sa UP malakas na ang ulan. sa sobrang lakas basang-basa na hoodie ko. Nag-MRT pla ako papunta. Naging basang-basa hoodie ko sa pagsakay ko ngjeep papuntang UP (kaya ayaw kong mag-MRT pag papuntang UP e, ang layo ng nilalakad).

Dahil malakas nga ang ulan kinailangan kong mag-decide kung ano ang gagawin. nasa jeep ako nito from mrt to up.

MY OPTIONS:

1. bumaba sa may quezon hall. lakarin from there to media center.

2. bumaba sa sc sumakay ng katipunan at bumaba sa cmc.

I chose option number 2. pero i still had to walk papuntang media center so i bought na an umbrella sa sc. naghihingalo na kasi hoodie ko. SUPER lakas na pala ng ulan. nakarating naman ako at natuloy ang symposium.

FAST FORWARD...

After the symposium meju nag-aalangan pa ko kung susugurin ko na ang ulan. Gusto ko ng makauwi. After thining for som minutes sinugod ko na nga. walangya! walang silbi payong ko sa ulan na un.

Ayan. so abang na'ko ng jeep pauwi. I was waiting for a jeep to MRT. un na kasi ang pinakamagandang ruta pauwi kapag umuulan. in contrast sa pagpunta to up, ang ride pauwi thru mrt means na hindi ako mababasa na ulan.

Nag-aabang na'ko ng sasakyan sa tapat ng college of music na mukhang malabo kasi NO JEEPNEYS IN SIGHT! Grabe na ang ulan dahil hindi mo na makikita ang mga katabing buildings right where u're standing.

Umikot na ako ng oval. nagbabakasakali na makakita ng jeep. nakarating ako sa kabilang side. near admissions bldg. and after waiting for a loong time.may jeep na parating, byaheng philcoa. cgue na, no choice na, malabo ng may sumunod pang jeep dito kya sumakay na ko.

MANONG: "O, hanggang CP GARCIA lang po tayo. Maglakad na lang po kayo papuntang Philcoa. Wala na pong makadaang sasakyan dun. Sa kaliwa na lang ho kayo dumaan."

...hanggang cp garcia lang po....

...hanggang cp garcia lang po...

...hanggang cp garcia lang po...

YAK! paulit ulit yan sa utak ko!

Sabi ng utak ko: "At ganu ba kalala ang baha dun at imposible ng makadaan mga sasakyan.

*Pagdating sa CP GARCIA...

MALEE's BRAIN: OMG! totoo ba'to??? Talaga palang malala ang baha. Hindi naman umabot ng tuhod pero umabot sa point sa hindi na talaga makadaan mga sasakyan. Ang mga nakakadaan na lang e ung mga FEARLESS sa pagtirik ng sasakyan nila. Some were successful, some were not. Too bad.

Nagkaron naman ng mga raket ung mga tambay at mga bata sa lugar na yun.

The RAKET: tinutulungan nilang makatawid sa other side ang mga sasakyan. Dahil mas mababa ang baha sa side na papasok ng UP...ung mga palabas ng UP tumatawid sa side na papasok ng UP to go out of UP. yah. magulo tlga. nagkakaharap-harap na mga sasakyan. may papasok ng up sa side na palabas ng up. may nakapatagilid. may na-stuck sa halamanan dahil fail ang pagtawid sa kabilang side. so there, yun ang nakita ko sa bandang CP garcia.

back to me:

buti na lang maraming naglalakad so sinugod ko na ang baha. nakapayong pa-ko nun kahit di ko na-feel na may payong ako. pero pinaniniwala ko kasi ung brain ko na napoprotektahan pa rin ako ng payong ko kahit di naman totoo. hahaha

Yes! nakarating ako ng Philcoa.

Oh no! mas malala ang baha. Yep! Grabe! Dahil nasa side ako ng mcdo..kailangan ko pagn tumawid. di na ko nag-abalang mag over-pass dahil malinis ang kalsada. nakatigil lahat ng sasakyan. hahaha. at paakyat ng overpass, nakakatakot lng ung baha---super iwww! so sumabay ako sa group of friends na magkakakapit habang tinatawid ang philcoa. magkakakapit sila dahil malakas ang agos ng baha. POSIBLENG MATANGAY. at dahil malakas-lakas pa ko, hindi naman ako natangay, nakatawid naman ako.

sa other side:
HOMAY! wala na talagang sasakyan :(((
Naghintay ako mga 20-30mins. din na baka bumuti ang sitwasyon. KASO LUMALALA LANG. Nakiramdam din ako sa mga taong nasa paligid ko. sinusugod na pala ng iba ang baha papuntang cicle. Sige, maki-join nga.

Pagdating ng cicle, wala pa ring sasakyan. wala na talagang masasakyan. FAIL.

Sige, malakad nga hanggang Quezon Ave. baka dun may masakyan na'ko. So inikot ko ang cicle, amidst the baha at super lakas na ulan. Buti na lang at marami ring naglalakad.

Quezon Ave: NO WAY! NO JEEPS! NO ANYTHING!

No choice. I guess I have to walk hanggang sa MRT station. Which, I did btw. Umabot na rin lagpas tuhod baha sa may EDSA-MRT. Na-stuck ako dun. Nakikiramdam. AT PUTANGINA WALANG MRT! Maiiyak na'ko. Hindi ko dala cp ko. wala namang matawagan. huhuhu

Pero I was determined na makauwi. Ayokong ma-stranded, mas natatakot ako sa mga tao kesa sa bagyo. Mas mabuti ng malunod sa bagyo kesa mahold-up/ma-rape/whatever.

Lakad...

Lakad...

Lakad...

May natawid akong hanggang hita, hanggang tuhod, walang baha, pa-iba-iba. Pero wala pa namang hanggang bewang. until makarating ako sa DELTA. inikot ko pa quezon ave. to sumwhere back to quezon ave. hanggang bewan na daw kasi. umikot din mga pipol, nakisabay n lng ako.

Just past Delta, may cellphone shop. AT MAY LANDLINE!

Dial...

*kring...kring*

MALEE: Ma...(stammerin na dahil naiiyak na'ko)

MAMA: blah blah..teka sandali tawagin ko si papa...

MALEE: Pa...(ang hirap na magsalita dahil naiiyak na talaga ako. kaso nahihiya ako sa mga katabi ko. LOL)

Kinwento ko lang naman sa tatay ko ang adventure ko until delta. sabi niya tawag-tawag lang daw ako. hindi niya naman ako masundo dahil hindi na rin makadaan sa lugar namin (ang naisip ko naman nun, anu b yan...imposible namang bumaha samen, hindi daw ako masundo. okay payn)

sige bye..

so hintay ako. tawag daw ako mga 4pm...

hintay...

hintay...

fuck! wala namang nagbabago e. hindi ako makapaghintay. sige lakad na lang...

delta...

araneta...

ROTONDA!

HOMAYGOD! UMABOT AKO NG ROTONDA!

Past the baha na pabago-bago umabot na sa bewan ko. True. Umabot sa bewang ko that we had to walk na in the middle of the road---dahil mas safe dun sa gitna. Wala namang sasakyan, at kung sa gilid dangerous kasi may lubug-lubog. So kahit mas malalim sa gitna, mas safe dun.

ISANG LESSON: Mas safe maglakad sa baha kung sa middle of the road ka. not sa sides.

May na-sight akong sari-sari store. MAY LANDLINE.

Dial...

*kring...kring*

MALEE: MA, ROTONDA NA'KO!

MAMA: (NATATAWA)

PAPA: Lakarin mo na lang hindi talaga kita masusundo. Malapit kana.

MALEE: Hindi kona kaya pagod na'ko! (HIndi na ko naiiyak, galit na'ko. Naiinis. Punyeta. Tangina!)

bye...

*toot toot*

GORA! LAKAD NA KUNG LAKAD. Uuwi ako! uuwi ako! makakauwi ako! yah!

SUGOOODDDD!!!!

BIGGEST CHALLENGE: USTE-actually buong Espanya pero pinakamalalim ng sa USTE.
UMABOT HANGGANG DIBDIB KO! TANGINA, UMABOT PA NGA ATA AT SOME POINT SA LEEG KO! TANGINA!

THE GOOD PART: May na-meet akong peopla na naging baha buddies ko. Nakalimutan ko na names nila except for ATE TINA... ayun, magkakasama naming tinawid ang ESPANYA! AT NAGAWA NAMIN.

QUIAPO NA!!!

-Nung time na yun. Mukha pa lang swimming pool ang underpass. hindi pa naman puno. So lakad kami papuntang carriedo, nagbabakasakaling makasakay ng LRT LINE 1. Pinagtitinginan n nga kami ng mga tao e. Kasi sila,mga tuyo, kami halatang binagyo.

Pagod na pagod na ko. Masakit na katawan ko. Hindi pa ko kumakain.

Pero lakad lang. Sa Quiapo wala na samin ung hanggang tuhod na baha. Ung mga tao sa Quiapo, ingat na ingat pang wag mabasa. Kami , yakang yaka na un. diretso na lang. Wala ng baha pang makapipigil samen. Nalagpasan na namin ang Espanya, balewala na lahat ng iba pang baha! Mwahahahaha.

Carriedo....Yes! May LRT! Meju nakakahiya dahil mga tuyo nga mga kasabayan namin dun, pero kiber? puno LRT, pero pagod na tlga ako kaya umupo na ko sa gitna. haha. kiber?

Yes! Nakapagpahinga naman kahit papano. Pero saglit lang dahil bababa agad ako..

Carriedo...

Central...

U.N. Ave...

Pedro Gil

Yeahmen! Pedro Gil na!

Nagdadasal na talaga ako na sana may sasakyan. Pero alam kong wala na dahil nakita ko sa LRT na lubog na pala buong maynila. First time ko yun, na makitang lubog buong maynila!

Pedro Gil lagpas tuhod baha...

Lakad...

ABA! MAY JEEP NA NANGAHAS...sumakay ako dahil hindi ko na talaga kaya. pagdating ng jeep sa paco paz, tumirik na.

MANONG: Pasensya na ho, hanggang dito na lang ho talaga. Hindi na ho talaga kaya.

(Naantig ako sa sinabi niyang un e. hehe)

GORA!!

LAKAD....

LAKAD...

LAKAD??

TANGINA HINDI KO NA TALAGA KAYA. FIRST TIME KO RIN TALAGA YUN. NAGULAT DIN AKO DAHIL HINDI AKALAIN MAAABOT KO YUNG POINT NA HINDI NA TALAGA KAYA NG KATAWAN KO. GIVE-UP NA BINTI KO. HANGGANG HITA ANG BAHA, MAHIRAP MAGLAKAD. ANG BIGAT BIGAT.

Sa may high-way. may tinutulak na trak. nakisakay kami ni nanay na baha buddy ko. kaming 2 n lng natira. malapit na ko, sa may ONYX na lang.

ONYX....

hanggang tuhod na baha.

KONTI NA LANG...
MALAPIT NA 'KO...
KONTING KONTI NA LANG...

Onyx...
Tulay...
Kk...
Road 14...
ang finally...

ROAD 8

(may narinig akong mga angel na kumakanta sa background ko habang iniisip na PUTANGINA NARATING KO NA BAHAY NAMEN)

Pero pagliko ko from road. 14 to road 8. NYETA! HANGGANG TUHOD PALA BAHA SAMEN. kya pala di na talaga ako masusundo.

Gumagapang na ko papuntang bahay.

Pasok ng gate...
Pinto...
Nakita si tatay--NR ako...
Diretso lang sa sala...
Nakita si Nanay--iyakan kami.
Umupo ako.
Baha buong bahay, hanggang tuhod.
Okay naman sila, nadala na sa 2nd floor mga gamit.

MALEE: (TULALA, NR)
TATAY: 30km yung nilakad mo.
MALEE: (TULALA, NR)

After 30mins ng pag-tulala, nagligo ako. sa part ng 1st floor na wlang baha. nakaligo naman ako.

Wala rin palang kuryente samen.
Kain.
Akyat sa kwarto.
Kain.
Tulala.
Hintay ng antok.
Tulog.

LINGGO....

Wala pa ring kuryente. Palitan na ng mga kwento. Wala ng ulan pero di pa rin humuhupa ang baha. May namatay. Si pareng Toto daw. Lasing kagabi. Nakasilong na sa bahay ng kapitbahay pero nagpumilit umalis. Nangangamba daw sa kwarto niya, sa mgagamit niya. Lasing. Nagpumilit. Nalunod. Nakita na lang nang umagang 'yun na lumulutang. Akala nag-s-swimming. Nang lapitan, wala ng buhay. Nag-si-si-sigaw ang lumapit. Nagising lahat.

Unti-unti humupa ang baha. Nagtulung-tulong mga kapatid at magulang ko sa paglilinis na 1st floor. Ako? Nasa kwarto lang. Tulala pa rin. Pagod. Masakit katawan. Maya't maya magpapahid ng alkohol. Kakain. Hihiga. 'Buong araw ganun. Hapon. Pinahiram ako ni Papa ng cellphone niya, nakinig na lang ako ng FM. Puro panawagan sa mga relief goods at volunteer at mga humihingi ng tulong lang naririnig ko sa mga DJ. Nakinig lang ako ng mga kanta... hanggang ma-empty bat.

Hindi ako makatulog. Iritang-irita ako dahil mainit, nasisikipan ako kahit na hindi naman masikip. Pabago-bago ng pwesto sa paghiga. SYET! Diko kaya to. Kelan ba magkakaron ng kuryente! ---ibig sabihin, back to normal na ulirat ko.

Madaling araw, d ko alam kung anung oras, nagkaron ng kuryente! Thank God! Check mail. Open TV. GET UPDATED. Back to normal na kami. Pero kami lang pala.

There, Meju traumatizedpa rin ako at natatakot lumabas kya dito lang ako sa bahay stuck since the Ondoy tragedy. buti na lang binibisita ako ng friends ko... this friday I plan to go out na. Sa Monday, I'll be going to UP na...sana kaya ko na.

CHOS! HAHAHAHA!

to watch!

Kung inaakala niyong Cheerleading ang pinakamagastos na subject (o kung anupaman ang naiisip nyo) ay NAGKAKAMALI kayo!!!

dahil ang pinakamagastos ay THEATER 12!!
Namumulubi na ko pero kulang pa rin ako ng 3 plays (outside UP plays)
PRICE: 300 pesosesoses... at dun p yan sa pinakadulo ah.

E anu ba ang requirement?

Kailangan naming manood ng 6 as in S-I-X theater plays with a maximum of only 2 as in T-W-O plays in UP! Therefore the other 4 plays dapat outside UP. And we're supposed to make reaction papers based on the acting and the whole production. At sa outside UP pla ung 4 plays dapat sa iba't ibang theater orgs?!

So far?

I've watched ATANG by DuP. Na siyang tinulugan ko lng. Yun kasi ung panahon na wala akong tulog for the whole week A.K.A. MY ULTIMATE BANGAG MOMENT (click the link and gudlak sa pagbabasa). Dahil dun, hindi pa ko decided kung mag-re-react ako sa ATANG e hindi ko naman alam kung saan ako mag-re-react kasi nga tinulugan ko lng un! pero i think hindi na lng. KASI...

mga nasa line-up:

-may tiket na ko ng DEADSTARS, SEPANG LOCA (UP playwrights')for Wed. wii... ayan, ito n lng gagawan ko ng reaction.

-and we're planning to watch LULU . ito bet ko, r-18 daw e! hahaha.

at un p lng ang nasa line-up.

OUTSIDE UP

I've watched NOLI at FILI dekada 2000 (DOS MIL) by PETA.
Gusto ko rin sanang panoorin ang FANTASTIKS ng REPERTORY kaso til kahapon lng showing nun at ayun nga 300P un, no discount. Ang susunod na production nila ay Jack and the Beanstalk..ewan ko lng kung un n papanoorin namen...hindi ko trip kahit modern version p un. hehehe

If u have any suggestions/recommendations..comment here. Desperada kaming makapanood ng plays! hahaha

BESIDES THEATER PLAYS...

-I'll be watching UAAP..
yeah, may tiket n ko for the game today.

-And I'll be watching ASTIG (thanks to Marga na hinarang ako)

-I'm planning to watch rin "Ang Panggagahasa Kay Fe" at "Kinatay"--sabi kasi nila ipapalabas to sa FI e..i heard lng naman.

at iyon ang mga to watch! unfortunately no movies, anime, tv shows included in the line-up! :(((




Writer's Block: Talking Ducks

Happy birthday, Donald Duck! Which cartoon character do you think is the most disturbing?


do they look disturbing??

nah, i think they're the cutest thing the animation world has ever invented.
But, when I showed a clip to my friend---with her family, gawwd! They were terrified like f*cking hell! And no, I'm not exaggerating things as I'm telling the truth and the whole truth only.

They said they'll be haunted just by the eyes of these "freaky"-little-cute characters.
And yes, it looks "freaky" in a way. And just the whole story is kind of...say, unusual.

But I really loved this=D
so kawaii!!!

I wish archery would get more respect

The classic old Japanese feel to it. Even watching it is relaxing. And a bow and arrow that big? So cool!

AN EXCUSE TO CRY

what am i doing right now?

well, obviously i'm typing. oh, ang btw i'm trying my very best not to let the tears accumulating on my eyes to fall.

all i'm hearing right now besides the gush of wind brought by the electric fan facing me, is the evil laugh of the people i hate...

--that includes our current sk chairman whom i lost to for two votes, who is also the granddaughter of the longest brgy, chairman who ruled our community (with no improvements and developments except for their mansion-like house).

--and the prof who gave me 2.75 in his class when i'm expecting a flat 1 or 1.25 to be the lowest possible grade that i should get since our group won in the jeopardy game he put up as our final exam, saying that the result of the game will be 50% of our final grade.

--ultimately, those people in the KABAKA office who caused this unfuriating anger in me.

THE STORY:

MAY 8, 2009
ABOUT 2 IN THE AFTERNOON

i went to kabaka office to clear my documents so that i'll be able to get my allowance on monday. inspired by the sum of money that i'm supposed to get and the insisting demand of my mother, i got myself dressed and in two jeepney rides--i was there.

when i entered the office, i asked them to whom i should consult my scholarship concerns. the lady in black told me to go to her(she pointed a finger to another woman). then i sat in front of her table. i told her i'm a kabaka scholar and that i'm there regarding my allowance for the second semester. she asked me my name, then i told it's matignas. she browsed on a list i do not know yet what about, then told me my name's not on the list.

i was shocked. i was speechless.

she asked me if i'm an old scholar, and i said yes, and that i recieved an allowance for the first sem. now, other employees there are slowly butting in regarding my "controversial" issue. LIZA, the lady in-charge and whom i'm consulting, took another list and browsed on it. she let me browse the first list to see if my name really can't be found. and my name's really not on the list.she asked me if i didn't found my name and i said yes, it's not on the list. and then she gave me another list ... and another list. still, my name is nowhere to be found.

what infuriated me more was that she asked me to browse the lists after she has already seen that my name is not in there. it felt like she was shoving it on my face that i'm not in there.

my head was already spinning by then. i don't know what to say, i don't even know what to think. so i sat there still...with silence. i'm trying to think really hard of any hole in the way we both reacted.

after explaining my case, that i've e-mailed my documents to AL (who was the former scholarship head but is now thrown-out because of some corrupting issues) and that he replied saying that he recieved my mail. i asked her what'll i do now? she said, and so did the other guys there, that i might still get allowance for the next sem BUT not for this sem since the LIST IS FINAL--approved by the heads and everyone in the highest position, already processed for the check, and cannot be altered whatsoever. so they asked me to go upstairs and look for GREG saying that he might be able to do something about it.

i got upstairs asked for GREG and was in front of him and again telling my concern. he looked on a list and the computer and said, "wala nga talga". he told me he can't explain how my name wasn't there anymore since the old head (AL) was the one who made the list and that was all he left them, that list. he told me that it isn't only me whose name can't be found anymore on the list and that some people don't understand the situation and some people do.

"ang daming taong galit. lalo na ung mga hindi nakakaintindi, sa mga nakakaintindi e d ok lng." he told me that line for more or less 5 times before i left him.

i asked him if i could apply again for scholarship which will turn out that i'm a new applicant and never was a scholar. he said, it's quite impossible since all the slots are already filled.

so i sat there saying nothing. i was thinking.

THOUGHTS: it's impossible that they can do nothing about my situation.
RATIONALE: there're proofs, documents stating that i'm a KABAKA SCHOLAR. so even if i don't recieve any allowance for the second sem, i should still be able to recieve allowances for the coming semesters.

i told him my thought. but halfway of finishing my sentence he cut me off. saying that it's impossible since the list is final. "yun lang ang susundin nila."

"you mean, i'm automatically not a scholar anymore, thus will never recieve any assistance from you?" i said.

and he said yes.

and i asked about the documents i signed when i recieved my allowance last sem. if it's in their costudy. and he said AL gave them the list. AL made the list. and the question is why my name is not on it. (basically, he didn't answer my question)

so that was it. i am no longer a kabaka scholar.

at that very moment, my tears are about to fall, but i tried my best not to let it fall and i was successful. because if i weren't successful i would just let myself look and feel more like a loser--which is really my current state.

i told him i want to apply. then again he said, they can't make room for me. i asked what if i have recommendations?

he asked me from whom?

i told him, from the chapter president of kabaka.

he said, that's still impossible.

again, i was thinking of another way

THOUGHTS: it may be possible if i have good connections and recommendations from people that really matter.
RATIONALE: the fact that he asked me "from whom?" proves that they will accept my application if i said the right person.

so i thought of COUNCILOR GERNALE--whom i'm connected with
and even MAYOR LIM--because i know i can, i somehow can. but that will be too much
and even my friend's father--who's very good friends with AMADO BAGATSING.
*ding!* that's the right answer.

but i can't tell him that.
so i told him FINE. i'll go.

i was about to open the door when i heard them whispering about the school i'm attending.

my thought said: oh, i forgot to tell them. so i turned my head. they asked my directly where i'm studying...

i said: in UP
a lady said: UE
i said: UP. UP DILIMAN!

then i quickly left the place with a bang on the door.

i head downstairs to LIZA to report what GREG told me about my case. she said that too bad, they can't do anything anymore. then i told her i want to apply again. to apply now. she told me that they're not yet accepting applicants. then i suddenly thought: WTF?! GREG just told me that they can't accept my application because the slots are full. and then, here is LIZA telling me that they're not yet accepting. so okay. now i get it, she's reverting me from that stand because they really don't want me to apply---because I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT CONNECTIONS.

i asked her if i can somehow fill-up a form now so that they can update me and automatically process my application in hope for something. instead, she gave me their number in the office telling me to call to get updates. i asked her about a form for two times but she still, obviously, doesn't want me to apply.

so i said ok. i'll go.
she said. yes, just call for updates.

and i left.
with REVENGE on my thoughts.

i felt like i was beaten into pieces. adultered, raped, massacred.
I FELT LIKE A BIG LOSER.

From there, all i can hear is the evil laughs of the people i hate....

--that includes our current sk chairman whom i lost to for two votes, who is also the granddaughter of the longest brgy, chairman who ruled our community (with no improvements and developments except for their mansion-like house).

--and the prof who gave me 2.75 in his class when i'm expecting a flat 1 or 1.25 to be the lowest possible grade that i should get since our group won in the jeopardy game he put up as our final exam, saying that the result of the game will be 50% of our final grade.

--ultimately, those people in the KABAKA office who caused this unfuriating anger in me.

i told myself that i can't lose. i have to do something. i need to do something. i want justice!

EPILOGUE:

i got myself home. my mother greeted me with: ano napasa mo na requirements mo?
i said: hindi na 'ko scholar
mother: huh?
me: tiningnan n nila lahat ng listahan dun, wala n tlga pangalan ko.
ano bang pwede kong gawin?

mother: ano bang pwedeng gawin?

i ended our conversation there because i can't talk about it. i'll just end up crying. and i don't want to cry. and i can't let them see me cry.

i badly want to to something about it.

AND THIS BULLSHIT IS MY EXCUSE TO CRY.

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